


Davesprite Gets All The Dorks

by dogtier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Incest, Multi, Sibling Incest, Threesome, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-13
Updated: 2011-11-13
Packaged: 2017-10-26 00:31:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/276582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogtier/pseuds/dogtier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Jade show Davesprite that he's appreciated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Davesprite Gets All The Dorks

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the Homesmut kink meme in response to [this prompt](http://homesmut.livejournal.com/11448.html?thread=19678392#t19678392)

There was a rush of wind and a strange _pull_ right before Dave came tumbling onto the deck of the battleship, falling head over tail with his one remaining wing unbalancing him and causing him to crash onto the golden metal.

“Davesprite!” John called brightly, sweeping him up in a windy hug.

“John?” he said, confused. Around them swirls of energy twisted and contorted across the horizon while Jade juggled several bright orbs. “Where are we?”

“The session is scratching!” John explained. “Jade’s about the let the four planets go so they can settle around the new Skaia.”

“Why am I here?” Dave asked.

“We couldn’t just leave you to be erased!” John said. “You’re our friend.”

Dave’s chest felt too full and their was a suspicious itching at the corners of his eyes. He hoped the shades would hide the welling tears.

“Thanks,” he said, weakly.

“What’s wrong?” John asked. His face had fallen. “You wanted to come with us right?”

Dave cleared his throat, struggling to regain his poker face. John had backed away and was biting his lip, clearly worried and guilty.

“I just,” Dave began. His voice cracked. “I just don’t think I was supposed to come.”

“Oh you complete dumbass!” Jade shouted, startling Dave. She punched him on the shoulder surprisingly hard. “You thought we were suppose to just sit back and let you _die_?”

“Shouldn’t you be juggling space thingies?”

“Don’t change the subject!” Jade said. “There’s nothing more I can do with that but there’s a heck of a lot I can do with you if you don’t shape up and stop feeling sorry for yourself!”

Dave gulped.

“She’s right!” John said. “If you keep being sad we’re going to have to fix you!”

“And how are you going to do that?” Dave asked. He gestured to his bandaged torso. “You going to woosh my wounds away? Or my wing back?”

“You are soooooo dramatic,” Jade said. “I know some people that owe us some favors right now. It’s going to be fine.”

Dave looked back and forth between their two grinning faces. The overwhelming pull was back, but instead of yanking him through space it was pulling him towards them, letting them wrap him in their skinny arms. He buried his face in John’s shoulder and tried to calm his rising hysterics.

“I’m sorry I called you fake Dave,” John whispered. Dave laughed, but it came out as a hiccup. John pulled Dave by the hair and Dave went with it, letting John brush a tentative kiss over his lips. Dave’s hand clutched the back of John’s blue pajamas and he pressed himself forward, keeping John from pulling way from the kiss. He hadn’t spent four months in this hellish game to take some childish peck.

“Hey!” Jade said, startling Dave. “Sharing!”

“What?” he asked, just before Jade grabbed him and kissed him herself. It was a clumsy kiss, it was clear that neither of them really knew what they were doing but Jade went at it as enthusiastically as she went at everything.

“Your ears are twitching,” John said, giggling. Jade pulled back, alarmed, and reached a hand up to confirm that his fuzzy ears were, in fact, wriggling happily. She blushed. “It’s cute!” John reassured her.

The two goofs were both giggling and Dave failed to resist joining in, nestled as he was between their two happy faces.

“I’ve never heard you laugh before,” John said.

“Well, don’t go spreading the news,” Dave said. He kissed John again, this time trying to slip him a bit of tongue. It felt wet and a bit gross but John seemed to like it, moaning like Dave was Nic Cage and all his wet dreams were coming true. When Dave backed off to breath Jade was shamelessly staring, not just at Dave but at John too.

“So you wanna?” John asked. Jade answered by rushing forward to kiss him.

 _Twins_ , Dave’s mind provided. So yeah, now he was getting that fetish. When they broke apart Jade was panting and… drooling at little. So yeah, also part dog now. Not quite getting that fetish. John was still resting his hands on Jade’s waist, his long pianist fingers pale against the black. Jade wrapped her hands around his wrists, guiding them up her sides to cup her breasts. John turned even redder, which Dave had not even imagined possible.

“Oh, wow,” John said, squeezing lightly. “Um, wow. They’re um, soft?”

Jade giggled again.

“Are you,” John began, voice stuttery and breaking. “Are you not wearing a bra?”

Jade shook her head and grinned. “Guess what else I’m not wearing.”

Dave couldn’t resist any longer, he had to get in on the feeling up action. Sure enough, Jade had nothing on under the thin, soft fabric. Dave’s thumb immediately found her nipple and she gasped.

“Do that again!” she demanded. Dave complied as John kissed her again. Dave pressed against her back, hands sandwiched between her and John who pressed against her front. Jade seemed very happy with the arrangement. Dave rubbed his fingers around her nipples in small circles before getting bolder and lightly pinching one. Jade jerked and moaned happily, so he did it again, harder. She literally _squeaked_.

“Wow, Jade,” John said. “You okay?”

She nodded vigorously in response. Dave grinned and let go with one hand, sliding down and pushing up the edge of her tunic. He waited to see if she would object before slipping his hand under it to touch her bare skin. She was warm and soft, and she wriggled back against him.

“Um, Dave?” she asked, pushing back very deliberately. “Is that what I think it is?”

He really hoped that being an orange bird would hide his blush. “You mean is it a sword in my pocket or am I happy to see you?”

“Cool!” she exclaimed, rubbing against him until he moaned. “I didn’t know if birds had them! Hey John!”  
“Oh no, this is not show and tell,” Dave objected, but Jade was already yanking John’s hand back so he could grope the telltale bulge.

“Be nice and I’ll take my shirt off,” Jade said.

“Deal,” Dave said instantly. Jade laughed and wriggled out from between the two boys, leaving Dave face to red face with John.

“So I think I have my hand on your junk,” John said.

“Brilliant observational skills there,” Dave said. He took advantage of his inhuman status to wrap his tail around John and drag him close, close enough that the front of John’s blue pants pressed against him “The question is, how happy are you to see me?”

“Oh, are you going to kiss again?” Jade asked. They both turned to look just as she finished pulling her tunic over her head, her small breasts bouncing free.

“If we do are you going to take the rest off?” John asked. Jade planted her hands on her hips and frowned. “Or, um, we could take ours off first?”

Jade responded by yanking on John’s shirt, and between the two it took several minutes to wrestle him out of it, his long hood tangling around them in the process. But finally they were both standing topless, running their hands over each other. John’s shoulders were slightly wider, and his sides lacked Jade’s subtle curves, but their was no way to miss how similar they were. Dave couldn’t look away when they kissed again, deeper this time, John’s fingers tangling in Jade’s hair and Jade rubbing John’s chest, excited to see if her brother’s nipples were as sensitive as her own. He yelped when she squeezed too hard, but moaned when she rubbed gently in apology.

“Fuck,” Dave groaned, unable to keep quiet anymore. John blinked, looking a little dazed like he had forgotten Dave was there. His eyes wandered down, looking at the strange orange bulge that hadn’t yet fully formed itself into human anatomy. Dave reached down and squeezed it and John’s eyes grew wide.

“What do you want us to do?” Jade asked, sounding out of breath. Her lips were wet and very red. A million ideas flew through Dave’s head, but before he could decide John was right there, lacing his fingers through Dave’s as the bulge finally resolved itself into a real cock.

“Oh god,” Dave gasped.

“Right here,” John said. Dave would have rolled his eyes, but they were already doing so from how good it felt. He pulled his own hand away and let John wrap his fingers around him, his palm soft and fingers free of sword calluses, feeling so unlike his own. He wrapped his arms tail around John, finding himself once again panting against his neck as his hips jerked of there own volition.

“Scoot back,” Jade said. “I can’t see when you’re that close.”

John tried to obey her, but Dave just gripped him tighter, gasping as he came. He finally released his grip and slumped back.

“Aw, I missed it,” Jade complained. John was looking at his wet hand and decided to lick it.

“It tastes normal,” he said.

“What were you expecting, a creamsicle?” Dave asked. John shrugged. He held his hand out in an offering to Jade, who licked it enthusiastically and then made a face.

“Ugh, boys taste weird,” she said.

“What do girls taste like?” John asked.

“Better!” she said defensively.

“Well, you better be willing to prove that,” Dave said. He expected her to blush in response, but instead she just began to wriggle out of her skirt.

“Whoa!” John said. Dave silently agreed. Her stockings stopped high on her thighs, framing her crotch. The hair their was thin but dark, trailing down to her… her… okay, wow yeah that was her pussy. Right there. Right where she was rubbing her fingers, getting them good and wet.

“Here!” she said, holding out her wet fingers. Dave licked automatically, unable to process entirely what was going on. “See, much better than boys.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I think we might need some uh… further testing.”

“What?” Jade asked. Dave swallow hard and tried to come up with a response, but instead just laid his hand lightly on her stomach, just low enough that he could feel the beginning of her hair. “Oh! Are you going to-”

“Do you want me to?” he asked, nervous.

“I do!” John said, breaking the trance.

“This is going to be so cool!” Jade said, laying her skirt out on the floor.

“Cool?” Dave asked. He thought that maybe _cool_ wasn’t exactly the response you normally got after offering oral sex.

“Hey John, you should get naked too,” Jade said.

“Oh, okay,” John agreed. “I guess everyone else is.”

Seeing John naked for the first time wasn’t like seeing Jade. Not that it wasn’t awesome, because hey, it was John and Dave had maybe had a little bit of a crush on him for a long time, but it was only a dick. Dave had one of those. It wasn’t like Jade’s mysterious plumbing, filled with unexplored depths and tastes and that line of thought was a little gross, so he stopped it. John looked longer than him, but not as thick, so Dave called it even. And he was really hard. John noticed them staring and covered himself with his hands.

“Hey, it’s not that weird looking,” John said.

“Can I touch?” Jade asked, not actually waiting for a response before doing so. And suddenly Dave was back in kinky incest land, as John gasped and moaned as Jade figured out the best way to stroke him. Dave pushed himself against her back again, reaching down between them to carefully rub between Jade’s legs. He was utterly clueless about what to do, everything was hot and wet and slippery. He tried to remember where everything was from the last porn he saw and finally managed to push in with the tip of one finger where he thought was right when Jade squeaked again and nearly jumped out of his arms, letting go of John in the process.

“Sorry,” Jade said.

“It’s fine,” Dave said. He kissed Jade’s neck and she sighed. “Want to try again?”

“You still owe me!” she said. “With your mouth and everything!”

“Yeah!” John agreed. He was almost as excited about it as Jade, the kinky freak.

Jade dragged Dave down onto the floor with her, sitting back on her skirt and looking down at him as he sat between her legs.

“You’re going to have to spread them more,” he said. For the first time she seemed more nervous than enthusiastic, but when he leaned forward and kissed her stomach she relaxed and opened up her thighs. Now that he could actually see Dave was determined to get it right. Finding her clitoris was easier than he thought it was going to be, and she moaned happily when he rubbed it and gasped when he licked it. The flavor wasn’t bad, but there was just so much of it. She was really wet, he didn’t know girls did it that much, maybe that was just a Jade thing. He continued to lick her clit while his fingers went lower, spreading her and gently trying to press in. It worked better this time, and Dave heard a thunk as Jade’s head fell back on the floor when his middle finger slipped in.

“No, do more, do more,” she whined when he stopped after an inch. He obeyed, pushing in as far as he could go and began thrusting.

“Oh, move for a second,” John said, and Dave moved his head away so John could see where Dave’s finger was sinking into Jade. John’s hand came down to rest of Jade’s thigh, and he clearly wanted to touch too.

“Do a another one,” Jade ordered. Dave obeyed, keeping his fingers tucked tightly together as he pushed back in with two. Jade groaned and rolled her hips up. Dave had imagined she would be soft on the inside, and hot, but hadn’t expected the feel of her muscles squeezing down around him. It made him wonder what she would feel like around his cock.

“There’s no chance you have condoms, is there?” Jade asked, clearly thinking the same thing.

“Left them with my legs,” Dave said.

“That suuuuuuucks,” Jade moaned. “I wanted to try that.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think the world is ready for our beautiful birddog babies,” Dave said.

“Uh, actually,” John said, blushing. Always blushing with that guy. “I have some. They were um… in my dad’s wallet.”

“Dude, you took your dad’s condoms?” Dave asked.

“I was curious!” John said. “Shut up!”

“Seriously Dave, shut up,” Jade agreed.

Sure enough, John produced a strip of condoms with a grin. He pulled one out and held it triumphantly.

“Okay,” he admitted. “I’m not entirely sure I know how to put one on right.”

“It can’t be that hard!” Jade protested. “Come oooooooon.”

“I can do it,” Dave said. “Come here.”

“Wait really? I thought you were-” John started.

“You are not seriously arguing about who gets to fuck me first, are you?” Jade asked. John shut up and meekly let Dave roll the condom onto his dick.

“Believe me,” Dave said. “I’m going to enjoy watching.”

Jade pushed John onto his back and crouched above him, face scowling in extreme concentration as she reached back to guide John’s cock to her entrance.

“Oh, that’s weird,” she said. Dave arranged himself behind her so he could watch as she slowly sank down, taking a couple inches before stopping to breathe. John clutched at Jade’s skirt under him and tried to stay still. “Sorry, give me a second.”

“It’s okay,” John said, voice strained. Jade shook herself a little, causing John to grunt, before lowering herself further. It wasn’t like John was particularly big or anything, but seeing someone fuck in real life for the first time was nearly overwhelming for Dave. The twins were both sweating and panting, their eyes locked together as Jade started to move. Dave licked his lips and rubbed his already hardening cock. They were both finding a rhythm, but it was two completely different ones, John trying to go slow while Jade started bouncing, shaking her small tits in an irresistible way. John reached up and began playing with her nipples again, which caused her to whine in a way that Dave refused to acknowledge sounded like a very happy dog.

“Oh fuck, fuck fuck fuck,” Jade swore. She reached between their bodies to rub her clit as she moved faster and faster. With a woof she came, shaking and clenching all around John, who clutched at her sides and jerked his hips up wildly.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” John begged, and Jade growled as she ground down. John made a deep, gurgling noise that rose in pitch before breaking. His face contorted in ecstasy and he clutched Jade as he shuddered.

“Wow, you look kind of stupid when you orgasm,” Jade said. John stuck his tongue out at her. “You probably can’t help it! It’s probably another weird boy thing!”

Jade lifted herself off John with a small wince, sitting back and stretching her legs. The striped stockings had slipped down to her knees and she tugged on one absently while smiling slyly at Dave.

“Hey there,” she said. Dave swooped down and kissed her again. Her arms wrapped around him, fingers stroking through his feathers and making him shiver. He pressed her back onto the floor of the ship while kissing her throat, feeling her muscles move as she moaned.

“Joooooooohn,” Jade called. He was there in a second, offering them a fresh condom. His eyes were wide and he bit his lip with his buck teeth as he watched Dave roll it on. It was hard getting into a comfortable position without legs and bandages around his middle. When Jade wrapped her legs around his middle her knees dug into his healing sides. Jade ended up on top again, Dave sitting on the floor with her pulled into his lap, rocking back and forth while gasping. She was beautiful up close, with long eyelashes behind her smudged glasses. Her lips were slightly swollen from kissing and she bit her lip the exact same way John did.

Dave didn’t last long, back he figured that was okay because Jade looked exhausted and he felt bad about making her do all the work. After he finished he lay her back on the ground and kissed between her legs until John pushed him away and did the rest of the job himself. Jade gripped big handfuls of John’s wild hair and found enough strength in her legs to do a last few wild jerks when she climaxed.

“Wow,” John said as they all laid on the ground. “I wonder if there are any beds on this ship.”

“Geez, you couldn’t have thought of that before I banged my knees all up?” Jade said.

“Sorry, I was distracted by your boobs,” John explained. He didn’t sound all that sorry. In all fairness, they were nice boobs.

“Now I hope you’re not thinking of doing anything stupid now like trying to leave,” Jade said to Dave.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he told her, and actually meant it.


End file.
